4th year of motherhood {+the roller coaster ride of it}

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

My daughter just turned 4 last week, it also my 4th year of motherhood journey, the journey that I am always looking forward despite the difficulties and obstacles. I know that motherhood is not for everyone, I respect the decision for those who are not keen, I used to think that I am not a capable of being a mother because of my nature. I love freedom, I love spending time for my self and I rarely like to settle down in idle situation for a long period. But when I became a wife then a mother, miraculously I changed my perception and I enjoy it very much. My daughter is my source of inspiration to be a better person. 

I switched career from accounting field to be an educators for almost a decade, I trained countless number of early years teachers, guide them how to be an inspiring educators for future generations but when it comes to motherhood, educate my own child and being consistent, I am completely hopeless. I still figure it out and find tunes what kind of mother I am,  I am definitely far from becoming a dedicate 24 hours mother figure and in case you are wondering, I will never be the one...

However, there are few value that I strongly hold to raise my child and I confidently say these are the right thing to do for me being a parent. We are as parent definitely wish the best for our children. But the best is also very subjective, what is best in our personal opinion is not necessary best to others. For me and my husband, we have a simple wish, we want to raise a happy child, we are trying our best by showing the examples. Happiness is something intangible, how are we measure happiness? it is too deep to be measured. Happiness in my opinion is a formed of self actualization. According to Abraham Maslow (an American Psychologist),  if our basic needs (food and shelter) are fulfilled only then we could think of our higher needs, for example; if we ensure we have sufficient food to sustain our body, then our intuition will long for higher need such as security, love, appreciation, etc. 

Three things that I practice:

Everyone is equal
I never take for granted of my daughter feeling and opinion. Since she was a baby, I was very careful to observe her cues. And now she is a preschooler, time flies. She is more expressive, she is very opinionated too. Everyone in the house is equal. We listen to each other feeling and opinion, therefore she obliges to do the same things. In theory it is easy, in reality and in her world, we are not always right, and she is always right! No, No!We are still trying to practice it everyday, but I believe when I listened to her needs, she feels appreciated, and when she feels appreciated, it builds her confident to share, to express and to listen in return.

Love and forgiveness
Both of us grew up in typical traditional Asian family when the word Love and Sorry are rarely existed. Do not get me wrong, we love our parent, but I used to believe that my father's words is ultimate, we were not suppose to be right as He was the one who is always right. And no matter how much I love my mother and how close we are together, until now I still feel awkward if I have to literally say I love you, mom. 
We learned from our past, at our home, Love is the most speak-able word and we show and mean it. We ensure her that she is loved and plenty of it :). Forgiveness is another practice, we gave reason when she is being punished, we said sorry when we made mistakes and hurt her feeling. I want her to know that forgiveness is part of self healing and love is a beautiful gift that someone could give. 

The greater thing
I introduced my daughter about God since she was in the womb, now that she can speak clearly, we pray together every morning and night. For us, it is important that she realize about God's existence and He is greater than any of us. The world has changed that humility become scarcity. Sad to know that, however in my own capacity, I nurture her to grow up to be a humble person, be a God's connector to serve others and serve Him unconditionally. I have a strong belief, when God is our only desire in life, He will take away our worries. It does not mean we do not need to do anything, we still need to work diligently, carry our own burden and overcome our obstacle, but He will fulfilled. I want my daughter have the same belief when she grows up, to be happy to serve God and walk according to His words.

I am still learning and I will be... 
Happy April 2014

PS: This is not a wordy tips that I was talking about, It will be in next post. These not even a tips pun intended too :)

Here is Dania's 4th Birthday celebration with her classmate.






Behind the scene: She prepared the goodie bags tag for her friends :)


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